This appeared in Episode 130 of our podcast. A dramatized overview of Karaoke Phil’s play at the recent FPN National Championships. By demand here is the text of:
(Based not so loosely on “Casey at the Bat”, by Earnest Thayer)
Only ninety-eight other qualifiers he had to play,
Being best in the land this was certainly his tourney,
But when his stacked halved, a sickly silence hit the rail on this journey.
A straggling few started to leave in deep despair, the rest,
Clung to the hope which springs eternal in the human breast.
They thought, if only Karaoke could now get a hand,
He could shove all in, double up his chips, and make a stand.
Then, when Under-the-Gun limped all other players dropped,
Now on the button, on Karaoke Phil, the folding stopped,
There was ease in Karaoke’s manner as he looked at his foes,
There was pride in Karaoke’s bearing, and a faint smile there arose.
Hundreds of eyes were on him as at his cards he glanced back,
The buzz began to stir when he eyed his remaining stack,
Defiance gleamed in Karaoke’s eye, a sneer curled his lips,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt, Phil would be shoving chips.
And, now the Small Blind folded, and the Big Blind did the same,
And, Karaoke stood watching it in haughty grandeur shame,
Moving towards folding did the Under-the-Gun runner start,
“That ain’t my style,” said Karaoke. “Call me, punk” was his snark.
The call was made, Karaoke Phil now feeling a little sick,
The cards were tabled, Karaoke Phil’s pocket treys against “Big Chick”,
He signaled to the dealer and the flop was now laid out,
A club, a heart, no diamonds, one spade, Phil’s treys holding stout.
The turn shows a queen, and Karaoke now falls far behind,
The rail saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles bind,
The sneer is gone from Phil’s lips, he shouts, “One time,” with a quiver.
And, now the dealer holds the cards, and now he shows the river.
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
A band is playing somewhere and somewhere hearts are light,
And, somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout,
But, there is no joy in the CPL – Mighty Karaoke Phil busted out.